BUSH CHANGING HIS NAME TO 'GOD'

In a major sign that President Bush believes he has a huge mandate from his reelection, he's changing his name to "God." "Bush has already remarked that God wanted him to be President," a top cabinet official says. "By changing his name to 'God,' he's just making it official." Bush feels this will cement his authority, says the official. "Bush can't wait to send a bill to Congress and say, 'Pass it. It's God's will.' "He told me, 'Whenever Democrats raise objections to my plan to privatize Social Security, I'll just point to our currency where it says 'In God We Trust' and say, 'See? It says In ME we trust.' And when protesters insist I should be impeached for lying about the war in Iraq, I'll remind them that the Pledge of Allegiance says that the U.S. is 'one nation, under ME.'" Bush also feels changing his name will give him more clout on issues like teaching creationism in schools, faith-based social programs and abortion. Finally, the President also thinks it will help win the war on terror. "When I say to the radical Muslims, 'This is the voice of God. Surrender!' they'll stop attacking us," Bush told the aide. Many Democrats are going ballistic, but admit there isn't anything they can do. Says a top Democratic senator, "We can't come out against God. We'll get killed." Find out who the World's Biggest Liar is and more in this week's newsstand issue! Don't forget to pick one up!