LAUGH-A-MINUTE RUMSFELD BECOMES A CLOWN
Sec. of Defense can't resist a pratfall, says insider
Washington insiders are abuzz with the news that Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld plans to resign his Cabinet position -- and become a circus clown!
According to a highly placed Pentagon source, Rumsfeld -- who has been a Navy pilot, White House chief of staff, U.S. ambassador to NATO, U.S. Congressman and CEO of two Fortune 500 companies -- has long dreamed of making children laugh by donning a red nose and floppy shoes.
"Rummy will make a great clown," says the insider. "He's always joking around. We can count on him to entertain us at Pentagon meetings with his water- squirting lapel flower and bucket of water that turns out to be confetti. He can't resist a pratfall.
"He's a riot!"
Signs early in Rumsfeld's life pointed to an eventual career in show business. As a young boy, according to childhood buddy Kevin Koshar, "Rummy would put on these elaborate puppet shows always featuring himself as a singing, tap-dancing general leading a war against a defenseless Third World nation."
To find out more about Rumsfeld as a clown, pick up the latest newsstand issue of the Weekly World News!